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About sharing image copyrightAlamy Feeling good about your body isn't always easy when you are overweight.

Age: 50
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hcnnibal: okay im bored in the house and im in -

There's the charitable stuff and my good behaviour. My shelves are crammed with my pickling jars - filled with interesting vegetables. I'm impervious to it.

I won't dress it up and say I have an "hourglass" figure. Some days I use my fat as armour, and other days it's like a shroud. About sharing image copyrightAlamy Feeling good about your body isn't always easy when you are overweight. Just try a standard 'hey, how are you'. I just want to be the best of myself. I think it's a subconscious thing of it feeling safer, because there are some really weird things on the internet.

I wonder if some of the things I do are to justify my place in the world. Mellisa spoke to Ena Miller for Woman's Hour - listen to the full programme here You might also like: image copyrightEna Miller Sylvia Mac has spent most of her life trying to conceal the extensive scars which cover her body. I wear the "good manager", "good friend", and "good daughter" hats as best I can. As a black woman it is more acceptable to be big.

They're annoying, "off-putting", an "instant swipe left," according to John, I can own that word - "fat". People are constantly judging me. If I really think about it, I can't really value myself if I allowed it to get to this point.

Mum didn't want me and my two sisters to ever be as big as she boged. Why do I self-deprecate? I feel bullied, slighted and ridiculed.

I have stretch marks and mottled skin Society has its own sort of perception of people like me - we are disgusting, fat, slothful, lazy, incompetent, stupid. I sit in the car, get out and then sit in my office all day. It's not rocket science - I know that. There are times when I feel that I can do that and times when I can't. But let me tell you, I was you once and you could be me. Why can't I just be accepted for who I am?

I don't want to be normal because normal is boring.

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Less calories in, more calories out, but that means effort, doesn't it? Not exactly. Especially if you swipe on Charlotte, 21, whose opening line is always: "But do you have a puppy? Persia believes this is because Snapchat filters are so overtly fake, even cjat we all know people's 'natural' photos are often heavily edited too.

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I'm lucky in a way because I am the stereotypical fat woman - funny, independent, I have lots of friends. However, I refuse to accept the size I am. I can walk into a room and feel strong, so when someone says something mean it bounces off me. Persia says that sending gifs is a very, very mild way of "trying to be kooky". My weight can also be my strength.

By being so visible and taking up so much room, in a strange way I am also quite invisible. If you're not getting as many matches as you'd like, maybe a more stripped-back approach will transform your dating luck? They tell themselves that they've got control, they're sensible, intelligent and no way would they ever get to my size. I get why people look at me and wwanna "Mellisa, how could you be that fat?

I think there was a period when I was in my teens, where I had quite a combative relationship around eating. But it's a way of saying 'I'm slightly fun!

Related Topics. My world is filled with contradictions, but I blame no-one else. My desk space has been replaced by shelves of beer, wine, cider, porridge, snack bars, crisps, condiments and a second freezer. I spend probably on average two to three hours every day in the car because of my commute. If I accept it then I'm telling myself that I've given up and I don't want to give up. It's quite lonely to have such an odd relationship with food.

I think it's fear. How exciting. If I was slimmer, I could easily be labelled as a food connoisseur because it's a passion of mine. Just being able to tell people how being fat honestly feels for me is a fabulous opportunity to kick me into doing something about it. I think being a size 14 or 16 would be enough for me.

People tend to be drawn to people they're attracted to, but they wabna feel like they're in their league. Originally published 4 April My friend says I don't stint on myself.

I always start my talk by saying: "You know, my job is so stressful - when I started about a week ago I was a size 12 and look at me now!